Why am I listing these? I don't know - I guess I'm hoping that anyone who actually fits into one or more of these categories will read this and make an effort to reform their ways (yeah, I know that sounds a little too optimistic considering those people probably don't bother to read my blog anyway). Plus, listing stuff is fun! Here goes:
1) Skeptical people who treat you as if you're strange even though in doing so, they are the ones who come off as awkward. Seriously, we all have our share of problems to deal with in life. It doesn't mean we should take out our frustrations on others.
2) Opportunists. We all know those people who don't make any effort to talk to us, but call us once in a long while when they want to reap the benefits of being our friend. They want us to get them a job, lend them our stereo system, or give them a ride somewhere.
3) Superficial people who shun those who they feel are less attractive. Physical features are inherent, and looks are subjective; therefore, people can't take credit for them. However, they do exert control over how they treat other people. Looks will fade as one grows older, but personality will continue to exist.
4) Tactless people. We all have insecurities, and the last thing we need is for people to draw attention to them. Usually, those same people are insecure about their public image, and they feel that shedding light on other people's imperfections will help others forget about their own flaws.
5) Racist people. Enough said.
6) People who mistake privileges for rights - those who feel a sense of entitlement and guilt-trip you as if you are indebted to them in some way just because you've offered them your kindness in the past.
7) Groups of people who move like molasses and in the process, they take up the entire sidewalk so you can't even walk around them. The worst is when they look at each other as if you're creepy or stalker-ish if you're right behind them, even though it's their fault for taking half-inch steps.
8) People who are excessively flaky. It is rather annoying when you and someone else agree to meet somewhere at a certain time and then the other person just doesn't show up. Now, I don't mind at all if the person has a lot on their plate and forgets (as long as it's not a regular deal) or if the person has the courtesy to call/text me. However, if someone repeatedly and knowingly just bails and doesn't inform me, then that's when I get frustrated because it means that I have to waste my time waiting around.
9) People who judge others for drinking/experimenting with drugs/having premarital sex. I'm not advocating these practices or saying that everyone needs to engage in them, but I think people should realize taking part in one, two, or all of the aforementioned activities doesn't make someone an immoral person. It's only human to want to test the waters.
10) People who try to make other people over. You're not always going to agree with how people physically present themselves. Still, there's no need to enforce trends upon them that they aren't comfortable with (unless they've specifically asked you to make them over). That fact is that people want to be appreciated for who they area and when you express an interest in changing their appearance, you are hurting their self-esteem.
11) People who turn everything into a debate. Now, there's only one reason why people do this, and it's because they want to prove their intelligence to others, but in doing so, they sometimes come off as ignorant for not being able to understand issues from other perspectives. Now, I see no harm in teaching someone something that he or she might not already know, but there are a lot of people who derail others in the process.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Identity
After watching an episode of Twilight Zone this afternoon, my friend and I came to the conclusion that people shape their identities according to their surroundings. When their surroundings change, so do their identities. I feel like this certainly applies to my own life.
From elementary school to high school, I lived with my parents, so I didn't have the privacy to explore beyond certain limits (and neither did most of my peers). In high school, I mainly hung out with the honor students with whom I had classes and my fellow band members. Factoring in my busy homework and extracurricular activity schedule along with the presence of our family members (and lack of personal transportation - I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18), I didn't have the time or means to test the waters. I defined myself as a band geek, and I was content in doing so.
In a way, my college experience was more sheltering than my high school experience (which is not the norm for the average United States resident) because I went to Smith, a 100% female liberal arts school. The process of defining myself was different because most people who went to Smith were straight-A students in high school. It came time to figure out which people I could relate to on a level deeper than just diligence. After all, not only was I in a classroom with these students, but I was living with them on a campus for an entire four years. By the end of the four years, I didn't change much from who I was in high school other than the fact that I had acquired more knowledge from textbooks. However, with this knowledge came the discovery that I no longer wanted the label of "band geek." I figured out that there was more to me than my love of playing the piano and the trumpet. I developed other interests including video-editing, writing, attending rock concerts, and reading news articles.
After graduating from college, I underwent a more extreme case of self-identification. I attended Columbia University for a year of grad school, and not only was I surrounded by geniuses in the classroom, but I was fending for myself in a huge city and working two jobs in order to pay for my living expenses. I was back in the co-ed world, and I dealt with all the situations and pressures I might have already experienced had I gone to a more happening college. I was faced with decisions pertaining to alcohol, drugs, dating, sex, and while I won't touch upon my experiences regarding each category (or lack thereof, depending on the category), I will say this. 2010 was the most life-changing year I've had yet. I learned to let loose and take chances, and at the risk of sounding cornier than corn bread, I realized that I shouldn't let my my mistakes define me as an individual. Rather, I should see them as opportunities for growth.
I'll miss certain aspects of 2010, but I also know that there are some that I'm never going to get back, no matter how much it pains me. I'm an Atheist, but I feel that the Serenity Prayer applies to the nonreligious as well. The truth is, there are some things you just can't change even if you put in all the effort in the world. In two realms of life (I'm not going to say what they are, but I'm pretty sure one is obvious to most of you), I really did try hard this past year to make myself happy. My efforts didn't bring me the results that I wanted, but there comes a point at which you get tired of wallowing in depression. When you put it into perspective, it's silly to ruin your life over circumstances beyond your control. Of course, it's easier said than done to pick oneself up. But for now, I'm ready to move forward and continue this journey of self-exploration.
From elementary school to high school, I lived with my parents, so I didn't have the privacy to explore beyond certain limits (and neither did most of my peers). In high school, I mainly hung out with the honor students with whom I had classes and my fellow band members. Factoring in my busy homework and extracurricular activity schedule along with the presence of our family members (and lack of personal transportation - I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18), I didn't have the time or means to test the waters. I defined myself as a band geek, and I was content in doing so.
In a way, my college experience was more sheltering than my high school experience (which is not the norm for the average United States resident) because I went to Smith, a 100% female liberal arts school. The process of defining myself was different because most people who went to Smith were straight-A students in high school. It came time to figure out which people I could relate to on a level deeper than just diligence. After all, not only was I in a classroom with these students, but I was living with them on a campus for an entire four years. By the end of the four years, I didn't change much from who I was in high school other than the fact that I had acquired more knowledge from textbooks. However, with this knowledge came the discovery that I no longer wanted the label of "band geek." I figured out that there was more to me than my love of playing the piano and the trumpet. I developed other interests including video-editing, writing, attending rock concerts, and reading news articles.
After graduating from college, I underwent a more extreme case of self-identification. I attended Columbia University for a year of grad school, and not only was I surrounded by geniuses in the classroom, but I was fending for myself in a huge city and working two jobs in order to pay for my living expenses. I was back in the co-ed world, and I dealt with all the situations and pressures I might have already experienced had I gone to a more happening college. I was faced with decisions pertaining to alcohol, drugs, dating, sex, and while I won't touch upon my experiences regarding each category (or lack thereof, depending on the category), I will say this. 2010 was the most life-changing year I've had yet. I learned to let loose and take chances, and at the risk of sounding cornier than corn bread, I realized that I shouldn't let my my mistakes define me as an individual. Rather, I should see them as opportunities for growth.
I'll miss certain aspects of 2010, but I also know that there are some that I'm never going to get back, no matter how much it pains me. I'm an Atheist, but I feel that the Serenity Prayer applies to the nonreligious as well. The truth is, there are some things you just can't change even if you put in all the effort in the world. In two realms of life (I'm not going to say what they are, but I'm pretty sure one is obvious to most of you), I really did try hard this past year to make myself happy. My efforts didn't bring me the results that I wanted, but there comes a point at which you get tired of wallowing in depression. When you put it into perspective, it's silly to ruin your life over circumstances beyond your control. Of course, it's easier said than done to pick oneself up. But for now, I'm ready to move forward and continue this journey of self-exploration.
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